Punishing Others for My Mistakes

I have the capacity to make others miserable. I can hurt people emotionally with a simple glance, turn of my body and turn of my mind. I use these abilities all too often to get my way with things, or to deal with situations that make me uncomfortable. The one thing it seems I am not capable of is openly and honestly expressing the emotions which cause these behaviors.
I am a very closed person, and I don’t want to be. Events of the past few days have proven to me that I am the cause of most of my own problems. If I only let others around me be happy when I’m happy, and I am only able to be happy when others are happy, then I am not very likely to be happy.