Sometimes in my life I take myself to a lower level of functioning than is normal for me. I do this without realizing it. I take myself from being extreamly productive to being quite slow, lazy and just not as vibrant as my personalities have the ability to be. I am realizing this through some events that occured last night, events which reintroduced me to just being sporatic and doing what feels right instead of what is determined by my very predictable pattern.
There is one major flaw in the ultimate plan of GITI – everything is planned. If events in my life are planned months in advance and there is no detail left unwritten, then I am going to become bored with my life. Each evening when I get home I look at GITI, even if I know there is nothing there that needs my immediate attention. This habbit was formed from my habbit of doing the same during the first few weeks of the semester when there were always things in GITI that needed to be attended to. Now the course work is a little less strenuous and the assignments a lot more predictable. The predictability is probably what kills my motivation. I like to have courses where instructors are dynamic and their teaching style is always adapting and doing something new. Lecture, Scantron, Lecture, Scantron may work for some people who just want to get through their courses, get their hours and go on with their lives, but as I hositily pointed out to my “peer advisor”, that just isn’t for me. I am at this university to learn material that I want to learn, in addtion to the required dulldrum material of course. I don’t care if I get out of here in 2 years, 4 years, or 5 years. I just want to do what I know is best for me, which is to persue the education that I want. I know what it is that makes me happy when in an educational environment, I need to seek that out, not become bored with it and excel as I am expected to do.
After last night I am feeling a little better about things as far as my life in general, hopefully this will hold to be the same result after a few days go by. I really want to return to feeling the same way I did in the first few weeks of the semester.