Tonight I switched from my current AIM SN “NetCalmer” to one of my older names temporarily just for no real reason and discovered a world of people waiting for me. Had time stood still and everyone decided to wait for me on AIM? As soon as I signed in I was greeted by friendly names from the past. A lot of small-talk was had, and I got some people updated on my current life situation. But all of that isn’t relevant to this post, but what is relevant is that those people exist. In my present life situation I am not as friendly as I once was, I am less likely to interact with people, I suppose beause I am a lot more scared and not as able to familarize myself with people around me. About the time I start getting to know people is about the time the semester ends. I like people, I like having friends, it is just a long hard road to get there. There is also the jelousy factor, how do I add friends without somehow making my current friends feel somehow less important to my life? I value all of my friends and everyone else in my life in the positions they hold and I don’t ever want to make anyone feel that their position is threatened.
I miss a lot of my high school friends and I am having a hard time fititng in with people at UNCC well enough to find people I am socially compatible with. I don’t fit in with the jocks, im not that athletic, I don’t fit in with the frat boys, I don’t drink and I don’t fit in with the preps because I am no longer a Bill Gates clone. I am just me, I am unique. I want to find where I fit in, but I can’t really find any clubs that interest me, and i’m not willing to let myself go through the whole create-a-club thing again. I had enough fun with that in high school, I am not focused (or responsible ) enough for that to work.
I have to realize that as an adult I now have a much wider spectrum of people to sort through to find the right person for me, but if all else fails, I could always just go through everyone and weed out people who I am not compatible. As for my selection of friends based on surface characteristics, I used to avoid females for friends, but I am currently enjoying talking to this one girl in my accounting class, Vannessa. She isn’t like me at all, but she is nice to talk to and is very receptive to things I say. She is very easy-going with life, a personality respembling Jessica Simpson kinda, but not completely, she is less of an air-head.
I don’t know what else to say except: If you want to talk to me, go for it, send me an instant message or an email or even respond to this entry with a comment, don’t be shy. I love meeting people and talking to people I already know but haven’t heard from in a while.