In the confines of identity

As a member of various fetish and BDSM communities I have been silent on the topic of identity related to those communities, primarily because the unity of identity is important to the salience of the community and to the continuance of an open and supportive environment for those who feel that they have a sexual […]

Why I Hate The Closet

October 11th is National Coming Out Day in the United States and seven other countries. I am very happy to for the most part live an open life in which I do not have to hide my true self from the majority of the people with whom I interact. There are still some areas of […]

Metanarrative of My Life

I feel like all I have done on this blog in the past few months is post about academics. Its easy to do, its practically the only thing going on in my life, and as a grad student, shouldn’t it be my life? Oddly, I feel like I have become more of myself over the […]

What if ‘we’ are wrong?

What if homosexuality is not normal and natural? What if there is a reason for the gender divide? The more I read for my classes in Gender, Sexuality and Women’s Studies the more I am beginning to question everything. The readings and theories go as far as claiming that physical sex is a social construct. […]

Disconnected from the blog

In recent weeks I have become increasingly more disconnected from this blog. This blog (in its original form) was started on August 23, 2004, my first day as a university student. Now I find new topics and new thoughts hard to bring to this blog. Perhaps it is the uncertainty of the future that creates […]


This evening I watched a movie, “Shank” (2009), that had an usually emotional impact on me. I am in general not a fan of violent movies, as usually I am bored by them, but in this case, the violence was  a bit disturbing. The movie centered on a homosexual “scally” gang member. The movie involves […]

Deciphering the Moods and Desires of People

Life is quite strange when dealing with these mortals called humans. Do exactly what you believe that these humans desire and then they change what they desire, making your actions and assumptions wrong. If you sit back and make no active change to appease them, they expect for you to have known their desires. Where […]

Happiness is nowhere to be found

No one around me seems to want to talk to me, and no one online is around. I am bored, there is nothing to do, but yet it is still much too early to sleep. I don’t even seem to have anything interesting to blog about. What a sucky day this has turned out to […]


Would the person who decided to send me a subscription to Instinct Magazine please step forward? I know I am a bit of a perv, but I really don’t need dudes coming to me monthly in the form a magazine… at least not guys that are that gay. There is no information included with the […]

Desire for Self Improvement

I have been sitting beside my bookshelf for the past hour while working on various things online, primarily taking care of some course related stuff. The bookshelf sits in this room, usually undisturbed unless I’m pulling something specific from it, usually for research or adding something to it, usually some book I will get to […]