Multiple Levels of Alone

Why is it that when I think I can’t be anymore alone in my feelings and life someone has to go and prove me wrong? It seems like in the past few days the only way people can deal with talking to me is by flying off an electronic cliff or avoiding me by some other method. There is such a difference between knowing people care about me and it being felt. Tonight I had another argument with my father, and my mother made me feel that she cared about me, but my father only stated that he did and didn’t show it at all. Since then my father has gone to sit in his chair and my mother has gone to the basement. I attempted to talk to one of my friends about it, but that sort of fell apart quick, so I am now sitting here in my room writing this to my blog. Is my installation of MovableType the only one who cares?
My father’s excuse for not wanting to talk to me was that I talk over his head, my mother opted to stay out of it, and as for the rest of the world, im sure no one else cares to hear about it, so I leave it as this blog entry with only my feelings of being abandoned and being wholely alone, nothing more.
Sometimes faking happy is just too hard. I don’t want to do it any more, I just want my life to correct itself and everyone around me be happy. I don’t want to grow up just yet, im not ready for it. I am not ready for my life as it is even, sometimes im not sure I am ready to be human yet.
My life sucks and there is not a damn thing I can do about it.