After having classes for five semesters straight with no breaks it has finally hit me that I should take seriously a decision to not take any courses during the Summer 2005 semester. I originally wanted to take some courses for my own interests, but now that I am looking at that idea I have determined that I just can’t handle it. I haven’t been as interested this semester in anything as I should be, based on my enthusiasm entering in Fall 2004. Last summer I took classes because I had nothing better to do, but this summer I have rediscovered several of my hobbies and I have plans for having a lot of fun during the summer and I don’t want to be the one saying “well, I would love to, but I have this paper to write”. Anytime anything like that is hanging on me I always wait until the last minute (there is an optimal amount of mental fatigue which keeps me focused), but it becomes an excuse from the time it is assigned until an hour before I start it. The summers of my youth are becoming numbered, I don’t want to murder another one with course-work. If I do anything this summer it will be completely independant study (and not recorded by any registrar). This summer I just want to be a normal blond guy with some amount of ab definition, playing on a beach somewhere.
The summer of 2004 was mostly a waste as the season goes. I didn’t spend nearly enough time outside and I didn’t let myself rest until about a week before classes started at UNCC. Summer is supposed to be a fun season. I can see myself getting up at sunrise, just to watch it, then begin my day by doing some reading for leisure, then go outside to enjoy the sun at some type of activity, either sports or something. If I get bored with that I can always join a gym or something. At sometime passed mid-day I can find a nice shady place to take a walk, enjoy the smells of summer and just spend time contemplating, perhaps about my morning read. That should bring us up to about 4 or 5PM, a good time to go visit my garden and see how things are progressing, harvest something if it is time, or whatever. Not sure how well my fantasy summer will work out, but there is always room for modification as long as no long-term commitments are made, such as academic responsibilities.
I think the point of this entry was to state that things are getting to me this semester and I need time to chill. My overachieving goals are unrealistic and I should focus on actually enjoying my life and not getting so wrapped up in stuff that doesn’t matter in the end. Since I am human I have a restriction on my availible time on this planet, I am going to try to not waste it.