Ive had thoughts of wanting to kill myself before, but usually because of stress or something else external to me, but now I feel this way for a new reason. I presently feel like I don’t matter to anyone and that all I am capable of doing is causing other people pain. This was extreamly evident tonight (this morning, whatever) when I was experiencing extreame emotional pain and when I turned to a friend to talk about it I was promptly told that he was going to bed and that he wasn’t going to deal with it. This comes after us earlier discussing some things that had occured earlier in the week and he declared that he wasn’t putting any more into the relationship because he felt that I wanted everyone to be there for me when I need them, but me never being around for others when they need me. I can’t argue with him, this has been happening my entire life, no matter how much I want to change this behavior, it is still there. I am a bad person and should not live any longer. I am a waste.