Category: General Life

I don’t usually blog lyrics, that is usually more of Chris’ way of expressing things, but currently I have this one song stuck in my head. It entered my mind from hearing the intro to another song, in a completely different genre. I haven’t heard the song in years, but occasionally it pops in and makes me feel a little strange. The song reminds me of exactly how much I reflect on events that have already happened as well as how I always wish I could change those events.

Why do I blog? What purpose does it serve? Does it protect me from being social, or does it give me something to do to fill my time? I really don’t know anymore, and there are days when I question the existence of the blog. It started being for academics, primarily, for my to document my first year of college… that is now behind me by about 160 credit hours.

This month marks 4 years of blogging. The blog went live on August 16, 2004 and was placed at DisturbingThoughts.net on August 23, 2004. In some ways the blog just serves as a reminder of all of the things I have wanted to do and haven’t been able to, and a small number of things, but some chance, I actually managed to do.

In 4 years there have been 658 entries, which averages to about 14 per month. In the past 3 months I have gone way above that. I have been averaging about 2 entries per day for the last 3 months. I don’t know if I have had more to say, become more open with my thoughts, or just been more bored in that time, but the numbers have increased dramatically. In the last week or so I have noticed that some of the entries seem to be very short, but get lengthy responses.

What is a personal blog supposed to be? What is my audience? One of my friends commented that he sees my blog as more for my personal records than for anyone else, and he would be correct. It has become a personal chronology of sorts, but I don’t know much more about it than that. It has evolved some, but more or less still remains on the same track as it was when I created it so long ago.  I think originally this blog was supposed to have ended by now, but I suppose sometimes plans change.

I am presently enrolled in 18 credit hours and I am not happy. I am still bored. Nothing seems to challenge me and I don’t really like feeling like this. I feel incomplete. I need something to do with my life other than sit around constantly refreshing course websites, hoping someone will say something.

More than being bored, I feel like I am presently making no useful contributions to society. In short, I am afraid I am becoming depressed.

• Woke up
• Had enjoyable time in sculpture
• I think I will enjoy my new sculpture/ceramics instructor
• I came home
• Went hiking at Crowders Mountain
• Reached Pinnacle
• Returned
• Exhausted
• Sleep

I have the status page almost finished, but still not quite right. I am to the point where I am comfortable with it technically, but no where near comfortable with it socially. I don’t know what it should "be". I want it to be a starting place for my personal website. I always feel like my personal websites come across too stiff and static, so starting from a wholey dynamic base might be the right way to go… but am I someone deserving of such a page? Isn’t "status" a little pretentious?