This evening I watched a movie, “Shank” (2009), that had an usually emotional impact on me. I am in general not a fan of violent movies, as usually I am bored by them, but in this case, the violence was a bit disturbing. The movie centered on a homosexual “scally” gang member. The movie involves his struggle between his gang lifestyle and his sexual feelings. There is a lot of drug use and violence, but the movie’s plot reveals a lot of depth to at least a few of the characters. There are some scenes, especially toward the end of the film that are a bit hard to watch, but for the sake of anyone who is considering watching it, I will not mention them here.
Another aspect I found difficult in the movie was the relationship that occurs. I have no problem with a relationship between men, but I never seen a relationship between such a “rough” type of guy and a more sensitive guy shown to be so tender. It makes me think about the type of relationship that I would like to be involved in and factors that prevent me from being able to have that type of relationship. I have concerns involving public opinion of such a relationship, specifically in the form of informal negative sanctions. In some ways I think it also involves my external image of myself and how all “parts” of me fit together from a social perspective. My own interpretations of what a relationship is supposed to be also come into play, but mostly just from the sexual aspect. I am not a huge believer in an intimate relationship requiring overt sexual acts to ensure its stability, and especially not its initiation (as is portrayed in the movie).
In general I feel positive about the movie in terms of realistic portrayals and the artistic influence for its construction. I’m not so positive about how it made me feel in the end, but I intend to watch the movie again (with Chris) to see if I can resolve some of those feelings.