I had some negative feedback on my previous posting, actually it was more like hurtful criticism of my life and I became a little discouraged from being externally expressive. I’m going to have to learn how to filter out people who have alternative reasons for being my friends (or are perhaps bipolar?). Sometimes its so […]

Sometimes in the way we as humans get into patterns we lose parts of ourselves, usually in the way of spontaineous behavior and artistic expression (or for the non-gifted, artistic apprechiation). For the bigest part of my life I have been very patterned in things I did, I basicly didn’t do much and anything I […]

I know I haven’t posted an entry in a few days and haven’t really been around and the last post seemed kind of negative. This post is to state that I am still alive, but going quite nuts from having to share my home with my father for a few weeks (he is gone back […]

Why is it that when I think I can’t be anymore alone in my feelings and life someone has to go and prove me wrong? It seems like in the past few days the only way people can deal with talking to me is by flying off an electronic cliff or avoiding me by some […]

Sometimes in life there comes a time when it will be necessary to override part of the self for the greater good of the entire self as well as the entire body. For those of you not familar with Freudian structuralism theory, the self is composed of an ego (presenting personality and equalizer), id (natural […]

This so far has been one shitty year. After a nice new year’s eve and fairly fun new year’s morning I headed home from Chris’s house at 7:15AM, on highway 49 a minor issue occured, the vehicle seemed to be exhausting excessively, this was thought to be the case until stopping at a stoplight and […]

I just spent a few minutes thinking about the way my digital pen perceieves the world. It is really an intersting device in the way it sees our world, things it writes and the passage of time. When laying dormant on my desk or in its cradle the pen experiences the world like any other […]

In a few hours (45 hours) it will be January 2005 and we will have ended another year of human existance, a year of goals accomplished, some not accomplished and a lot of new memories being written. In 2004 I accomplished a few things in my life: Became a Microsoft Certified Systems Administrator (May 19, […]

There are many feelings I can tollerate, supress or somehow alternatively deal with, feeling unwanted isn’t one of them. This evening my father sent a pretty clear signal that he didn’t want me living here anymore, the simple line of “I want you to move out” would be the key indicator of me not being […]