I, Curtis

I have only 3 more lectures left in my MWF classes, and only one left for my Thursday class (Plato). That means I have 3 hours left with each course.
I have changed a lot in some aspects since August 2004, but in some ways, not at all. I have rejoined some old hobbies, and found a few new ones. My preconceptions about most things academic have been shot down fully, but yet I have picked up a few new ideas about how to approach my overall academic life.
I am still about as non-social as I was in August, but at least now I am learning how to approach potential relationships (Life = Interpersonal Communications Lab?). Today I actually spoke to someone in my Microeconomics class, his name is Craig. We spoke for about 40 minutes after class about the class itself, as well as some of our common technical interests, philosophical interests, etc. Why do these people stay silent until the last few days of a course? That is sort of like last Thursday, I got the opportunity to talk to Austin finally. He is really cute, but also has a very complex mind philosophically. I have never seen someone digest Plato/Socrates the way he does. He gets passed the BS that goes on and extracts only the essential theory being passed, then he considers it and determines for himself whether it is valid or complete bullshit. Austin is more of an Aristilian thinker (like me), which means that he is more likely to relate to physical things that humans experience (we will for the moment disregard Plato’s theory of perception). In accounting I have Kent, Chuck and Vanessa, but they were compulsory, so they don’t really count (it is helpful for getting to know people when you are forced to know them). In Calculus there is Robert, we barely know each other, but we acknowledge each other and have a basic friendly relationship. Wow, that was fast, I covered everyone in a single paragraph. It is definately time for me to break out of my shell and start talking. Friends don’t just drop out of the sky, they take work and maintainaince.
I guess the point of this little entry is to state that I have made it through my first year of college and I survived. I have an entire summer ahead of me to teach myself how to be social, and maybe learn to be nice to the friends that I already have. Fall 2005 will approach very fast, when it is time, I intend to be ready this time.

All of my academic life I am used to there being certain people I can count on to make me feel “at home” in my curriculum. I was worried that I wouldn’t find this at UNCC after last semester, but I am now begining to find my niche and fit in with certain people and breaking down my own walls of fear about things. I am at UNCC for 3 – 5 years (or 6 if you ask the registrar; Degree/Decree Expected Date: May 2010). This isn’t a small part of my academic life, this is just the begining of phase 2. During Fall 2004 I was very concerned and almost alarmed about the fact that I didn’t really know any instructors or how to properly get to know them (or any of the students for that matter). The answer to how to get to know them… simply let it happen naturally. It doesn’t take a small class to get to know an instructor, and small classes don’t really help with it at all. This semester I commited myself to a minor in philosophy (because I like the way it makes me feel), with that commitment comes the acceptance of a limited set of instructors to complete it with. I have sort of accidentally selected Dr. Presler as my instructor of choice. Dr. Presler seems to understand me and I like her teaching style.
When I am in an academic environment I seem to attach myself to certain people, not sure why, but what I do know is that I get this feeling of belonging once that attachment is made. I have that attachment now for my minor, just days after it being declared and confirmed.
As for my major, I have selected Mrs. Sara Scott. I will likely only have her for another course or two at most, so I can’t become too attached, but I am also getting along well with my advisor/director, Dr. Bruce Long. In the past 2 weeks I have began talking to Mrs. Scott more and more. She isn’t as much of an air-head as believed during day 1.
I can’t say for certain if my isolation felt previously was because of the department I was attached to or not, but what I do know is that I feel right at home in the College Of Information Technology.
Recently I have been feeling particularly isolated from my fellow students, and im finding that this is making me quite uncomfortable. I am trying to make contact with people, specificly Robert in Calculus, Kent and Chuck in Accounting, and Waseem in Business Programming.
Off I go into my world of academics and people who will likely disperese before I get up the courage to really get to know them.

As I get closer to my change of major being finalized I am realizing what it is that I want to persue in my education and possibly my career. I was at first a little nervous about the switch to SIS from MIS, because of the increased math load and various other factors that made me think that I couldn’t handle the work for SIS. I have come to realize now that SIS is where I truely belong and that if taken a step at a time I will have no problem completing the requirements for the major, and on the plus side, I think I will actually enjoy doing it. Any type of time-based goals I had for completion of my degree are irreleavent, I must focus myself only on creating a stable platform upon which I can build the rest of my life. By the time I have finished my degree I will likely have enough credits for an additional degree in a different area, because of my tenancy for finding lots of elective courses that I like. I think at some point I missed the point of being a freshman. While most freshmen were figuring out what they really wanted to do I was busy working towards what I thought was my selected path. My own confidence in my academic world (probably the only place I have any significant confidence) drove me to think that I didn’t need an advisor and that I knew everything I needed to know to get myself through college without any significant guidance from anyone. I was more than a little off on that assumption. While I could select courses for myself and talk a dean out of pre-requisits at Gaston College for dual enrollment without any major issue, this was not representative of actually persuing a degree program, just sort of a pre-college warmup.
Now is the time for me to focus myself and realize that while I want to know everything, doing so is not practicle and I must select only a few areas in which to specialize my knowledge.

Found an interesting page earlier that I would like to share with my loyal readers: http://www.city-data.com/zips/28223.html.

After having classes for five semesters straight with no breaks it has finally hit me that I should take seriously a decision to not take any courses during the Summer 2005 semester. I originally wanted to take some courses for my own interests, but now that I am looking at that idea I have determined that I just can’t handle it. I haven’t been as interested this semester in anything as I should be, based on my enthusiasm entering in Fall 2004. Last summer I took classes because I had nothing better to do, but this summer I have rediscovered several of my hobbies and I have plans for having a lot of fun during the summer and I don’t want to be the one saying “well, I would love to, but I have this paper to write”. Anytime anything like that is hanging on me I always wait until the last minute (there is an optimal amount of mental fatigue which keeps me focused), but it becomes an excuse from the time it is assigned until an hour before I start it. The summers of my youth are becoming numbered, I don’t want to murder another one with course-work. If I do anything this summer it will be completely independant study (and not recorded by any registrar). This summer I just want to be a normal blond guy with some amount of ab definition, playing on a beach somewhere.
The summer of 2004 was mostly a waste as the season goes. I didn’t spend nearly enough time outside and I didn’t let myself rest until about a week before classes started at UNCC. Summer is supposed to be a fun season. I can see myself getting up at sunrise, just to watch it, then begin my day by doing some reading for leisure, then go outside to enjoy the sun at some type of activity, either sports or something. If I get bored with that I can always join a gym or something. At sometime passed mid-day I can find a nice shady place to take a walk, enjoy the smells of summer and just spend time contemplating, perhaps about my morning read. That should bring us up to about 4 or 5PM, a good time to go visit my garden and see how things are progressing, harvest something if it is time, or whatever. Not sure how well my fantasy summer will work out, but there is always room for modification as long as no long-term commitments are made, such as academic responsibilities.
I think the point of this entry was to state that things are getting to me this semester and I need time to chill. My overachieving goals are unrealistic and I should focus on actually enjoying my life and not getting so wrapped up in stuff that doesn’t matter in the end. Since I am human I have a restriction on my availible time on this planet, I am going to try to not waste it.