I was digging in GITI a bit ago, looking for quotes I had saved from people, I found this one from Guy, it really seems to symbolize a lot of what I feel lately:
“my man has to be fast enough to catch me, strong enough to wrestle me to the ground, and loving enough to keep me from getting mad at him for doing it”
Category: General Life
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Quote I Found
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Happy Birthday Chris!
Happy birthday to Chris. Cheer up buddy, youve done a lot this year! You are a great friend and a very talented individual. “Life wakes you up, things change”
See his blog entry to himself -
Committment
When the sun rises tomorrow morning I will no longer live by the rules set for my life in GITI. I am a human. In my existence my goal is to be happy, I shall no longer let things internal to myself of exterior to myself bog me down. It is time to put something in the shell.
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Happy Post
After that last post I decided I should now post a happy post. I am fine, and didn’t kill myself (obviously). There is a new policy on my blog I think… no more trackbacks to public blog repositories, they generate scary conservative people who want to leave nasty blog entries for me.
I have not been doing a lot of stuff lately that would be classified as cheerful, so I really need to get back to that. I have been mostly focusing on academic stuff, and not letting loose to do fun stuff. In the proccess I have been stressing myself out and over-complicating things. Blog entries such as the previous one should not occur when my life is normal. While I realize that some of the things I do in my life aren’t always the best I could do, I shouldn’t immediately drop to the “evil person” persona and think that there is no good that I can do. My personality is greatly variable and I can change things within myself to be closer to my ideal self. -
Contemplating Suicide
Ive had thoughts of wanting to kill myself before, but usually because of stress or something else external to me, but now I feel this way for a new reason. I presently feel like I don’t matter to anyone and that all I am capable of doing is causing other people pain. This was extreamly evident tonight (this morning, whatever) when I was experiencing extreame emotional pain and when I turned to a friend to talk about it I was promptly told that he was going to bed and that he wasn’t going to deal with it. This comes after us earlier discussing some things that had occured earlier in the week and he declared that he wasn’t putting any more into the relationship because he felt that I wanted everyone to be there for me when I need them, but me never being around for others when they need me. I can’t argue with him, this has been happening my entire life, no matter how much I want to change this behavior, it is still there. I am a bad person and should not live any longer. I am a waste.
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Fortifying the Castle Walls and Preparing for Armed Assault
MY FAMILY IS COMING! MY FAMILY IS COMING!
My mother went into surgery this morning and will be taking the next few days to recover. In most situations I would be delighted to have my mother around for a few days, but in this case… it comes with a price of aunts, uncles, cousins and many more of the fleet coming to visit CONSTANTLY! So far I know of a cousin coming tomorrow, and the aunt I don’t like (that has become her official title) will be coming Saturday. In addition to this lovely news I expect that a few dozen family members will “drop by” for “a few minutes” each and every day until my mother has fully recovered. My plans for the week including going into my room (with my pottery wheel), moving either my desk or a few bags of clay (25# each) in front of the door, then turning up my stereo to a fairly high mark and trying to forget that my family is around. Did I mention that as a bonus to the nutsness as it is already, my father has decided to take “a few days” off from work?
I like my family, but they are much better in small quantities. Anyone know of any good techniques for running off spare family members? Better yet, would anyone like to borrow a few family members?
This event should make studying for my philosophy exam and doing assignments for other classes a little more of a challenge.Sanity Status: RED! -
The Greatest Reward
Sometimes the only way for me to define my emotions is to look at the music im listening to and try to interpret from there. In this case, my mood is sporatic, but I keep loosing myself in Celine Dion – The Greatest Reward. I feel such loneliness sometimes, but somehow this song makes me happy and I feel less alone, and perhaps even hopeful.
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So suddenly, so strange
Life wakes you up, things change
I’ve done my best, I’ve served my call
I thought I had it all
So suddenly, so strong
My prejudice was gone
You needed me, I found my place
I’m different now, these days
Now the greatest reward
Is the light in your eyes
The sound of your voice
And the touch of your hand
You made me who I am
You trusted me to grow
I gave my heart to show
There’s nothing else I cherish more
I stand by you for sure
Now the greatest reward
Is the love that I can give
I’m here for you now
For as long as I live
You made me who I am
So suddenly, it’s clear to me
Things change
Our future lies in here and now
We made it through somehow
Now the greatest reward
Is the love that I can give
I’m here for you now
For as long as I live
You made me who I am
You made me who I am
– Celine Dion – The Greatest Reward -
Stupid People
OK, got a truely original comment to the blog today.
[Can’t you say, “That’s so stupid,” instead of that’s so “gay?”
I mean, you use the word “gay” like it’s a bad thing.]
This is in relation to the previous blog entry about Guy’s quote. First of all, as you will see, this person was a total coward, using a fake email address as well as using the name “Me”. Second, I wasn’t using “gay” negatively, I was refering to the level of homosexual-specific activity Guy was participating. Guy is by no means stupid, he is a very intelligent person, anyone who can speak Gaelic and about 10 other lagnuages would never by considered stupid by me.
One little comment for the prick who had the need to comment with his head up his ass, “gay” was originally used to mean happy, and now is used for either that or describing homosexuals. There is more to “gay” activies than male-to-male anal sex. If you wish to communicate with me further about this topic, feel free to email me, or comment again, this time with your real email address.
I welcome comments to my blog, but only under 1 condition, they MUST be about the blog entry itself, not the title. -
Happy Birthday Oscar!
Happy birthday to a very good friend of mine, Oscar. Enjoy it and don’t let Rita blow you away!
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Blobs of Fun
Apparently I have started an addiction. Last week I bought a squeezy Nike blob, designed for increasing muscle strength in the hands. Almost immediately Chris wanted one, then the next day my mother chimed in, then tonight Chris’s mother indicated she might want one and now there are various people popping into my mind whom I know will want one as soon as they see them. They come in Green (easy), Orange (medium) and Blue (hard). So… here is the addicting object:
